The Official Ranking of the OC Housewives

Season 10 of RHOC has begun. Like what? 10 seasons? Where has the time gone??? It seems like just yesterday Vicki and Lauri were working out of Vicki’s home schilling insurance. Now Lauri is rich again with her husband George and Vicki is… Vicki is still the bomb dot com.

original housewives of oc

 

So, in Buzzfeed fashion, I have ranked the housewives from best to worst. Honestly, the one-seasoners (Peggy, Quinn, Lizzie) don’t really warrant a comment… but I’ll be nice and include them

#17 Peggy Tanous

Here’s the thing. I like my housewives rich. Very rich. Even if they aren’t (ahem… well pick any housewife who has gone through bankruptcy), at least pretend. So while a Rolls Royce is impressive, it should come with a driver and be no older than 2-3 years.

#16 Quinn Fry

Do you remember when Quinn went on that get-away with her boyfriend? And we were all like, this is not cute. You two flirting over your club sandwich in a private cabana was not sexy.

#15 Lizzie Rovsek

Honestly, Quinn Fry was on the show years ago and her scenes were more memorable than Lizzie’s. What did Lizzie do? Oh yeah! She had a party bus take her out for her birthday and whined when no one showed up. You’re not turning 21, you don’t need a party bus.

#14 Alexis Bellino

Where to start… well first, her relationship with her husband sets back feminism about 30 years, so that’s cool. I am 100% supportive of freedom of religion, but some of Alexis’s life choices never showed up in my bible….

jesus jugs gif

#13 Lydia McLaughlin

When your story line revolves around your pot-smoking mother who happens to be way cooler than you… you know you’re not destined for a second season.

#12 Gretchen Rossi

Gretchen is kind of the worst but at least she brought drama. The whole thing with Jeff was just depressing and sickening. And anyone who chooses to date Slade, a man who has been accused of being a crap father and enjoys degrading women on the regular, has serious issues.

#11 Kimberly Bryant

No real issue with Kimberly. Literally, no issue.

#10 Lynne Curtin

Ok, the eviction thing was hella sad. Seriously – that must have been so scarring that it turned her daughters into Suicide Girls. [NSFW] These girls are TRASHY. But nice to see Lynne popping up this season! Tamra must be in real need of friends.

lynn porno

#9 Tammy Knickerbocker

I really liked Tammy. She seemed sweet. Too sweet for the OC probably. And I liked her relationship with Duff and I’m hoping they secretly got together. I refuse to Google it, so don’t tell me if I’m wrong.

#8 Jo de la Rosa

I also really liked Jo. She was saucy and this was before we realized what a douche monger Slade was. Remember when she dressed up as a maid? That was funny. And when she tried to become a singer? I LOVE a housewife that attempts a career in music.

jo de la rosa gif

#7 Lauri Peterson Waring

I loved Lauri in the beginning. Her riches to rags story was endearing. She had horrible kids who were disrespectful and into drugs and you really felt for her. Then she married George and she came back as a “friend” and tried to take down Vicki. UNCOOL LAURI, UNCOOL.

lauri peterson wedding

 

#6 Meaghan King Edmonds

She’s new. I have a feeling I already don’t like her. But I’ll see what happens. Also, she got the job because Andy is obsessed with Jim Edmonds and I don’t know how I feel about RH nepotism… UPDATE: She is the #worst

#5 Tamra Barney Judge

We’ve asked ourselves recently, do you think Tamra still has that Rolex that Simon gave her? Anyone whose marriage ends in a limo on TV is certainly going to rank high on this list. Lately, she’s been not that nice to her long time friends and a real shit-stirrer. But she’s Tamra, and probably not going anywhere. UPDATE: WE GOT ON WWHL on July 13th, 2015 where we asked Tamra if Simon had met her new grandbaby. She ended up crying. Whoops.

#4 Jeana Keough

Ok, real talk. Back in the day when OC started, before any of the other franchises existed, this show really gave you an inside look into the harsh realities of people’s lives, rich or poor. Jeana’s struggles as her marriage with Matt imploded were tough to watch, but so very real. Now you can tell these women get their hair and make-up done to film a scene at a grocery store. I miss Jeana and her REALity (get what I did there). And also we loved when Tamra threw wine in her face. We love it when ANY housewife throws wine.

jeana wine

#3 Shannon Beador

I love Shannon. She is real. And crazy. I just cannot get on board with all the natural medicine and crystal crap. But I love her, I can’t help it! The stuff with her husband David is reminiscent of Jeana’s divorce. I feel awful for her but I’m rooting for them. Also, I love her no-bullshit attitude.

shannon gif

#2 Heather Dubrow

Heather was certainly vilified last season for being a rich snob. But let’s be honest, she is! She is SO rich. This new house is going to be amazing. I want to be her maid just to be inside of it. Her husband is borderline a-hole, I hope they fix that. But otherwise, you do you, Heather. You do you.

#1 Vicki Gunvalson

There is only ONE OG. It is not Nene. It is not Ramona. It is not Lisa Vanderpump. It is not Teresa. It is Vicky Gunvalson. And we love her. She is also crazy. But we will woo-hoo with her anytime! We loved Don and we miss him and we are still not sure about Brooks but that’s ok. We are NOT fans of Brianna. Girlfriend- your mom helped you buy a real nice house in Oklahoma and she seems like a great grandma. Stop being a spoiled brat and let her live her life. Also, love Michael because Go Buffs!

woohoo

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