The Mehs of the Oscar After-Parties

Is it After Parties? Or After Parties or Afterparties? Someone call R. Kelly and find out. Seriously, everyone showed up at either Elton John’s Annual Oscars Viewing Party or the must posher Vanity Fair party. This included everyone who attended the awards. And they all changed! Not necessarily for the better. I didn’t cover everyone because I don’t have time to give you a fashion run-down on Mena Suvari and her like.

P.S. I might have the flu so excuse spelling and grammar mistakes…and anything else that doesn’t make sense.

Caitlyn Jenner in Zac Posen

caitlyn jenner

Let’s start with the good. I love the color. And whatever is happening around her neck. And her extension game is ON POINT. But it seems more “Kate Middleton attends Orphanage in Middle of Day” than “Elton John’s Oscar Party”. We’ve seen her bring her A game before, so surprising that on Hollywood’s biggest night she was a snooze.

Brie Larson in Monse


I get the whole changing thing. She got rid of that hefty belt, hair piece and train. But where do they find the time? She has an entire new hair-do! The ceremony ended at 9PM PST, then there’s interviews and the Governor’s Ball. So I estimate it’s closing in on midnight when she waltzes into this party. I like the color. Hate the fabric. Despise the matching shoes. I wish she had gone a little sexier post-win. She’s only 26, after all. This is just not how I would have ended the night my victorious awards season.

Heidi Klum in Versace

heidi klum

FIRST OF ALL… MUCH BETTER. So as I read it. she walked the Oscars Red Carpet in that hideous Marchesa then ditched out for Elton’s party. Then put this on and went over to VF. Again – WHO HAS THE TIME? I like this but I wish the design had gone all the way down the dress. Missed opportunity, Donatella.

Sophie Turner in Galvan


Again better, but not quite there. The gorgeous hair competes with that neckline. I do love the color though!

Hilary Swank in Michael Kors

hilary swank

This is kind of awesome, but maybe on Helen Mirren. This ages her. But let’s get real, we’re here to talk about Hilary. She went from being fired from 90210 to winning TWO Oscars to being relegated to the B-list Oscar party. Talk about career whiplash!!

Retta in I don’t know


I don’t have fashion credits for everything. This is fine enough, if a little breastplate-y for me. But who can hate too much on the woman who helped bring us Treat Yoself??

Sophia Vergara in Mark Zunino

sophia vergara

I honestly think I’ve seen this on her before. Again, a beautiful dress but more of the same.

Mindy Kaling in Salvador Perez


That is some va-va-va-voom hair! Not sure about the highlights, though. Salvador is her costumer on “The Mindy Project” and he custom makes a lot of her clothes on and off the show. This fits like perfection, as it should, but it doesn’t wow me. AND IF I HAVE TO ASK ONE MORE TIME WHERE NEW EPISODES ARE, I’M REALLY GOING TO LOSE IT.

Lady Gaga in Brandon Maxwell


This is another better played. I think the top fits much better and you really get the point of the skirt. Plus way to put on a smile after losing!

Lea Michele in Pamella Roland


Girlfriend can strike a pose. Always. Another one who dresses older than she needs to. I prefer her in something a little slinkier. Is she doing anything post-“Glee”? That show really took a nose-dive in quality but I loved Melissa Benoist on the show in the later seasons and she kills on “Supergirl”. Not that it really has anything to do with Lea, but whatever.

Vanessa Hudgens in H&M

vanessaThis is from H&M’s social conscious line. I hope she used that as an opening line when she met Leonardo. I get what she was going for but it veered to costume-y for me.

Kate Bosworth in Ralph & Russo

kate bosworth

I don’t get Kate Bosworth’s existence in Hollywood anymore, much like Orlando Bloom’s. Which as I pointed out yesterday, they used to date. But good on her for still getting invites! I actually don’t hate this. I think it’s really interesting. My issue is whether or not she can actually carry it. May be too much dress for her.

Taylor Swift in Alexandre Vauthier


I’m on record as generally disliking this designer. All they want to do is show skin and I think women are more interesting than that. But also, I don’t have a sternum that is dying to see the day of light. It seemed a little dominatrix to me, but certainly not the worst thing he’s put out. I’d like to take a minute and talk about her squad. Do we think it’s falling apart? I haven’t seen her with Karlie or Haim in a hot minute. She was there with Selena and Lorde. But no Jamie King – and talk about someone who LOVES to be on an invite list. And she’s Jamie’s son’s godmother. Taylor, I have so many questions for you.

Olivia Wilde in Prabal Gurung

olivia wilde

FIRST OF ALL, WHAT an improvement. The color is delicious. I’m starting to wonder if the boob thing is due to a boob job. I wish she had touched up her make-up. I imagine she had time if everyone else did. This dress fits weird – a little to big. And a belt could have pulled it all together. Whatever, carry on doing whatever it is that you do.

This last one of the Meh’s I had a hard time categorizing. I almost gave her a post of her own. So we will file it here but affectionately label it as “Mariahly Played”


Right? It’s so Mariah. Low-cut and ill-fitting. Big hair. Jewels to the max. The nylons could not be more unnecessary. I always feel so bad for Kate Middleton that she HAS to wear them. Mariah, unless your new billionaire fiancé demands it (which, doubtful because he had to know who he was marrying), kill the nylons. Or at least don’t show them off! But Mariah, you’re still on fire, and I love you.

Ok everyone else (A LOT OF PEOPLE) is so definitively best or worst, so be patient while I finish those posts!



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