RHONY Season 8: Episode 8 Recap

Just as an FYI, Julia informed me that Andy said next week’s episode is a Top 5 of all RHONY. So get ready for the drama to go down. This week was pretty great, too. I laughed…a lot. And I loved the name of the episode: “All the Countess’ Men”. Well played, Bravo.

Dorinda and Jules

We start with these two shopping for furniture at Jonathan Adler and recapping the night’s drama. (Recall, John put his hand in Ramona’s face.) I hope Jules is getting real furniture for her homes.

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I need these immediately. #valleyofthedolls

HOLD THE PHONE – Ramona wants to sleep with John??? NO ONE wants to sleep with John, Dorinda. I don’t even think you do.

Bethenny

Bethenny is having a Secret Santa party. We had one this year and my friend Deenah got me the most amazing wool, plaid scarf with “Momo” monogrammed on it. The perfect gift. Speaking of holidays, here’s my next Halloween costume:

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I love how they also make fun of Jules always bringing up being Jewish and Asian. And I love how dramatic Ramona rolled in. What was the three glasses thing?? She needs a skinny marg, a Ramona Pinot and water to tell her story?

Meanwhile…

Lu and Sonja

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CAPE + ROSÉ = MY EVERYTHING

These two Grey Gardens are discussing the party as well including my favorite, Rey.  I’m going to start going around saying “I have a charity. A charity that helps poor people”, while sufficiently sloshed. I like his look.

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“That was Ibiza!” I love that Lu went on two dates with this guy. And to Ibiza. There’s a whole part about how he wasn’t her lover, but she slept with him, but it was not just a one-night stand, it was a multiple night stand. You guys, I’m laughing so hard. Andy, can Rey join the cast? Or be a ‘friend’ of the housewives? SERIOUSLY – WHEN IS THIS LU AND SONJA SPIN OFF SERIES GETTING THE GREEN LIGHT?

Back to B’s party…Did you know Jules was Asian?

Ramona tells her version and Jules is like, ummm, you skipped the whole part where Rey was a drunk psycho and she’s trying to fill everyone in and Dorinda shows up and everyone is so disappointed that Jules can’t finish. (Even though she tries.)

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Ps I love Dorinda’s interview look

I also love B’s advice to Dorinda. Step back from all of this and take some time for yourself, girlfriend.

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Wait. Did Jules just lick the caviar off the blini? I also do no carbs, but this seemed extreme. Jules does herself no favors.

Now they’re talking about Dorinda’s slumber party in the Berkshires. Sonja will not be invited. I guess I just don’t get this whole anti-Sonja thing. If anyone has insight, please let me know.

For someone wanting Lu to move on, Carole is sure bringing up their fight a lot.

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I’m ok with Dorinda and Ramona fighting, as long as they make up in the end.
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FYI my birthday is June 30th – I expect one of my friends to get these for me.

Lu and Sonja

Ok this scene is basically the best ever.

Screen Shot 2016-05-27 at 10.51.38 AMThese two roll out of bed at 10:30. What are these two doing with the thongs and the mystery man and the morning lipstick application? Oh wait, I love that. Instead of walk of shame, call it a victory lap. Let’s face it, this was every Sunday morning in college for a lot of us, minus the NYC townhouse, the furs and 30 years these two have on a 20-year old sophomore.

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This is how I will make breakfast from now on. And Sonja comes down in a fur vest. WHAT IS GOING ON? TURN ON THE HEAT, SONJA!

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Sonja is doing a dance because she got in the Post. You guys, I’m seriously laughing so hard. This is the best episode ever. WHO SPILLED THE BEANS TO THE POST? Oh, John was quoted, so I guess we know the culprit…

Dorinda and Sonja

Dorinda informs us she got her killer inner thighs via Suzanne Sommer’s thigh master. BRB, on eBay…

But seriously, this is so awkward. Dorinda not-inviting Sonja to the Berkshires is insane. Did she need to do it in person? And Sonja is trying to call out Ramona for her erratic behavior. Sorry girlfriend, Ramona beat you to the punch and sold you down the river last week. Sonja is clearly upset and this is obviously going to be a continued storyline.

Lu

YAY we finally meet Lu’s fiancé!! And she only brought people she thought would be supportive – Dorinda and Jules. Didn’t Lu meet Jules like 3 episodes ago?

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Here’s Lu’s man! OOOH and he went out with Ramona once too. Amazing. How small is NYC??

John is the most disgusting and vile person on the planet. He says something that I won’t repeat. But Tom isn’t – I’m a HUGE fan. I’m so happy for Lu! This guy is great!

Dorinda

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CHRISTMAS!!! I love Dorinda’s Berkshire house. And she’s being very mature about Ramona to rise above it. I wish she would rise above John and leave him in her dust. Seriously, how does she watch these episodes and see the things he says and continue to date him, let alone sleep with him??? GAG.

I can’t talk about Ramona’s dogs.

I just had to pause. Jules – you cannot compare your father being in the hospital to your nanny quitting. You just cannot.

Lu comes in and immediately dings Dorinda for not inviting Sonja. Ok I get Dorinda’s thinking. “She’d be more upset if she came.” Basically, with the booze and the animosity (mostly from B), it would be a nasty weekend for Sonja. But I also hate people being excluded. It’s not nice.

THE NEW HARRY DUBIN. It sounds like Ramona may have oversold her dating escapade with Tom. I can’t wait to see that one play out next week because Ramona is pissed. You know who else is pissed?

“Blind leading the deaf” B in regards to Lu mentoring Sonja. That’s hilarious. These two get started on the Sonja stuff and I agree Lu, Bethenny is being mean. Next week looks like a major showdown. B goes off, I wonder if she’ll finally be held responsible for her words because all she does is criticize everyone’s weaknesses (Sonja’s failed businesses, Jules’ weight, Lu’s affinity for lots of men…) She would flip a lid if people came after her re: her divorce. Oh wait, she already did.

Next week is going to be soooo good.

 

 

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