Weekly Round Up: June 16th, 2016

WOW. A lot is going on. I know I owe you two RHONY posts, I’ll get to that this weekend. First thing’s first – happy anniversary to Duchess Sarah and her prince Ralf. Four years ago you threw the most amazing wedding in Fripp Island and I want to go back there right this moment. We have a lot to talk about, so let’s dig in.

Before I get into frivolous gossip, I need to take a moment to acknowledge the recent rough weeks in the news. Between the Stanford rape and the horrible, horrible events in Orlando, it’s hard not retreat to a bubble of safety. I’ll reiterate what many around the world have said: Love is love is love is love. Every time you speak with hatred in your voice, you are contributing to a cycle of discrimination and violence – whether it’s against women, the LGBT community, a specific religion… Take a moment today and appreciate everything good in life – your family, friends, roof over your head – and go out of your way to be kind to someone you might not otherwise acknowledge. And Go Cavs! Now, onto Taylor Swift.

Taylor Swift Moves On… Calvin Harris Clean Slates His Instagram

taylor tom

Well this is amazing. Last we heard, Calvin Harris and Taylor Swift had broken up. Rumors swirled that Harris had met someone else, that the spark was gone, that Taylor was too successful…well guess what, Taylor was the one who moved on… with Tom Hiddleston, the sexy British actor. Who saw this coming? Not me! Not even after their sexy dance moves after the Met Gala that circulated the web:

taylor dance

Note- Taylor was still with Calvin. Here’s the thing – Taylor has always been the “victim” in her break-ups. Joe Jonas broke up with her via a 27-second phone call, Harry Styles dumped her on vacation, John Mayer John Mayered her… so it’s quite the turn of events to see her be the one to move on. What will be the name of her new album? “Found a New Love”?

When the break-up first surfaced, Taylor and Calvin seemed to handle it in a mature manner. Harris went so far as to tweet that the relationship had ended but the love and respect hadn’t, or some blah blah nonsense like that. Well I don’t think Harris got the memo that Swift prefers her Brits over her Scots, because upon the breaking news, he just scrubbed clean his Instagram of any sign of Swift.

OohBurn

My final thought on the subject is that I like this pairing a lot. Taylor has tried evolving into this cool, popular girl over the last couple years. She buddied up to the hottest singers and models and dated the sexy DJ currently ruling the charts. I prefer my Swift dorky while posting a million cat videos. Hiddleston, a fantastic actor, comes across as playful and goofy. I never quite saw the chemistry between Harris and Swift, but I think I can get on board with these two pretty quickly!

T-RAV Has Meltdown

trav

Ok, let’s talk about “Southern Charm”. This week’s episode was bananas. My friend Jessa and I were so excited to watch the dinner party that we made her husband put it on during half-time of the Cavs game on Monday. This is an abbreviated recap of what went down.

We’ve been waiting for this blow-up since the season premiered. We’ve seen Thomas Ravenal become unhinged at a dinner party before, but this seemed to be on another level, and boy was it. The episode comes on the tail end of T-Rav being constantly questioned about the paternity of St. Julian. (P.S. the child went by Julian until a certain couple named their son Saint…now Kathryn and T-Rav have ditched the Julian…interesting.) Over a Gentry and ginger, Thomas lets J.D. know that it is way uncool and to prove that he is working on his family, he will throw a dinner party. Whitney and Patricia will NOT be invited (AS IF THEY WOULD GO) but Landon would.

Speaking of Landon, she is all over town talking about Shep. She has a conversation with her sister about her failed business venture and her failed marriage and her failed attempt at making things stick with Shep. The sister is kind of all of us, as she gently tells Landon to get her sh*t together. P.S. Landon – creating a website is not that hard. Even I can do it.

Meanwhile, Shep is eating with Cameran and God bless that southern blonde, her facial expressions are the best. She’s like “duh, everyone know Landon is into you but you are emotionally stunted and incapable of love and commitment” and he’s like “maybe I’ll give it a go.”  Mmmmhmmm.

Back to Kathryn and T-Rav. He comes over to see his kids and drops the Landon bomb.

kathryn

Kathryn and her over-parted, potentially bump-it styled hair (thanks Mary for pointing that out) is outraged. As she should be. Landon has been nothing but rude to her all season, not necessarily unwarranted, but still… And this is where I have to give a slow clap to T-Rav. This 53-year old Southern “gentleman” throws such a hissy fit that he tries to climb out the window as an objection to Kathryn’s objection. The party will be off if Landon can’t come, he declares. Kathryn quickly gives in and she remembers that she needs to hold her sh*t together if she’s going to get to move from her little cottage to his palatial estate. Party back on. I love a good hissy fit to get my way!

There’s a couple other vignettes, including a scene where Patricia basically tells Landon to put a little effort into her looks and act more like a confident human vs. a meek, giggling sorority girl, and maybe she’ll have a chance at love.

landon

And now… the party.

Let’s just stop before we start and make a huge comment on the fact that all these people smoke. T-Rav smokes…in his house… where his children sometimes reside. Landon smokes. Kathryn is like two-weeks postpartum, sucking down Bourbon and Marlboro Lights. What in the world!!! This might have blown me away more than anything in the episode!

What upsets me most though, is that we got to watch the B-roll of all the delicious food being plated and T-Rav doesn’t let them eat before going off on them, which makes me assume NO ONE got any of the meal that evening. But T-Rav goes in on the attack and here are the cliffnotes:

Kathryn: The bomb mom.

Cameran: Self-righteous, judgmental and sanctimonious.

Landon: Catty and in need of a little polishing

Shep: Should be dating Landon, lives off parents

All hell breaks loose. Here’s the thing, Thomas isn’t exactly wrong. Well maybe about the Kathryn/good mom thing. The girl has two nannies and a one loose screw. And Cameran is a delight and her opinions are typically spot on, so while the he might not be wrong, #teamcameran. Landon IS catty and in need of polishing, but Thomas, I’m not convinced you wouldn’t hit that…so… and Shep totally lives off his parents, you’re not telling us anything we don’t know. P.S. Thomas – how did you make your money exactly?

Everyone storms out, but not before Kathryn and Landon have more words and Thomas goes to attack the golf cart. The whole time I was wondering why Landon wasn’t putting down her lead foot and cruising out of there at 5-10 MPH.

trav gate

What an episode. Great television. I can’t wait to see next week, but more importantly, they just filmed the reunion!!!!! I can’t believe this season is almost over, but it’s definitely going out on a high note!

More Bravo News

I just realized that was a very long “abbreviated” recap. Whoops. The other big news out of Bravo this week is that Jules and her husband Michael are divorcing because Michael cheated!!! OMG.

jules

That sucks. Also, how did Jules get to go to the premiere of Me Before You? I guarantee this will come up in the reunion. THIS REUNION IS GOING TO BE THE BEST.

Jennifer Aniston is (not) Pregnant!

jen preg

I mean… I totally got excited about this. In Touch released these pictures of Jen and Justin on vacation where Jen looks like she’s carrying a uterine secret. Maybe it’s because I hope and pray for Jen to always be happy that I was 100% convinced she was pregnant. Julia, not so much. She reminded me that Jen is 47 and probably had a burrito. Well, Julia was right…

jen not

Jen put on her tightest tank to prove to the world that her abs were still flat. No baby to speak of. Oh well… it was exciting for a few minutes!

WAIT…One More Bravo Tidbit

Andy Cohen just said that there will be a “Real Housewives: All Stars” season at some point. It will come as the franchise ends. I don’t want the franchise to end but I do want an All Stars! AHHH… what a Sophie’s Choice!! Who would we want on it?? Obviously Nene and Teresa. Probably Vanderpump and OMG can we get Caroline Manzo back??? I’m so excited!! Who would be your dream cast??

Go forth and watch the Cavs bring home a victory!!

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