Weekly Round Up: September 9th, 2016

SO much happening as the stars come back from their fancy trips to yachts and Rivieras! Programming note: we are just 9 days away from the Emmy’s and that REALLY launches us into prime celeb season! Anyway, let’s catch up with the lifestyles of the rich and famous.

Before I dig in, I spent Labor Day with my family for my cousin’s wedding. Two of The Momo Slate’s biggest fans are my Uncle Steve and my Aunt Janet. Shoutout to family reading my blog!!! I promised Steve I’d put a picture of us up:

screen-shot-2016-09-09-at-1-56-44-pm

This was at an Ohio State game-watching party… in Minnesota. Buckeye fans are everywhere, y’all. There’s probably one behind me right now. Two days later, Steve captained a boat that launched me not once, but twice from the tube being pulled behind it. Thanks Steve!

Thank you, Taylor Swift

I was actually getting a little nervous! Taylor was happy with Calvin and they broke up but it seemed to be HER idea and then she hopped into another seemingly happy relationship. Ummm…where will we get amazing break-up anthems if Taylor is happy and in love? (I also have these concerns about Adele… who by the way, I saw in concert this week and it was a life-changing event.) Anyway, Taylor and Tom Hiddleston have SHOCKINGLY broken up after three months of dating. Let’s revisit this relationship and figure out what went wrong:

They met at the Met ball (LOL, see what I did there…oh boy, TGIF) in May and had a dance-off. Taylor was still dating Calvin.

met

Taylor and Calvin split and soon after these totally unplanned pictures by some very sneaky paparazzi come out:

rhodeisland

HOW did they get access?? Then they went on a whirlwind tour around the world:

taylor-swift-tom-hiddleston-6aa38d95-9308-4187-96ac-0f59671cf35f

Nashville, then England…

tom-taylor taylor-swift-tom-hiddleston-relationship-timeline

They even met each other’s parents!

35a4911000000578-3659430-meet_the_parents_taylor_swift_walked_arm_in_arm_with_tom_hiddles-a-1_1466876420954

And went to Rome!

taylor-swift-tom-hiddleston-main-4b78a444-4955-489b-b19e-fe692afd8dac

And partied with her squad in Rhode Island over the 4th…

4th

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? Well considering all those pics took place in the span of about 4 weeks… I think we might just got ahead and say they may have been moving too fast. Sources (eye roll) say that it was Taylor who pulled the plug because Tom was too into PDA…especially in front of the press.

screen-shot-2016-09-09-at-2-48-02-pm

She is usually such a wallflower with her relationships!!

boyfriends

There were also rumors that he was using her for publicity to help him get the new Bond role. Who knows really what happened, but Taylor is brushing it off.

taylor-swift-and-lily-aldridge-c0e4262a-6fd9-48a3-af0a-e32d1be2cf57

Whoa – Taylor looks good. That is not how I look after a break-up. My look is more unwashed hair, ice-cream on chin chic. Personally, I think they were both using each other but Taylor’s better at the game and Tom just got annoying. I can’t wait to see who Taylor dates next/hear all the songs on her next album!!!

Anna Wintour and the Bed She Made

Are you proud of yourself, Anna?

Are you proud of yourself, Anna?

Anna Wintour hates herself right now. Why, you ask? Because she has been Kimye’s biggest supporter and given Kanye ample press for his lame Adidas line, Yeezy. I guess everyone just LOVES his tennis shoes. They’re tennis shoes, you guys, get over it. And Kanye spent exactly zero seconds involved in the design, btw. Anyway, despite the awful designs, Yeezy blew up and every Fashion Week, people can’t wait for his show. Well Kanye debuted his latest line the other day and it was a disaster. First of all, it was held at the not-very-accessible Roosevelt Island. And the whole production started about two hours late. Oh and it was in the sun, so models who were standing out wearing the “designs” literally started to faint.

yeezy

Ignore the Capezio leotards for a second. Kanye – you cannot have your labor PASSING OUT. The Bergdorf Goodman fashion director had to jump up and help a girl before she full on collapsed at some point. I’m not going to give this any more attention, but you can read this eviscerating review from Women’s Wear Daily to fill in the gaps. Bottom line, we have Anna to blame for this. Did she need to get in bed with these two? Nope! She did it as a savvy marketing move to appeal to the masses. And now she’s stuck because NO WAY will admit she’s wrong. If you read the tweets from a lot of the media – they blame themselves for giving Kimye/Yeezy so much attention, even going as far as comparing it to the media attention given to Trump that ultimately got him the nomination. This may have been the last straw on everyone’s patience. Or at least pray it was.

Is it 2017 yet?

I’m not trying to rush time, trust me, I’m not getting any younger. HOWEVER, it was revealed this week that Katie Holmes can not publicly date or reveal anything about Tom/Scientology for FIVE years per her quickie divorce agreement. And guess what…the clock is ticking and summer of 2017 marks 5 years since the most epic sneak attack divorce ever. Seriously, Katie played her hand so well. Her dad is a lawyer and I imagine there was a huge strategic plan to get her out of that marriage quickly and quietly without harassment by Scientology or losing custody of Suri. Bonus – she got about a $10M settlement. Now we know why her 2+year relationship with Jamie Foxx has been so quiet. Oh you didn’t know? Yeah, those two are love eye emoji over each other. But only via the rumor circuit. I wonder if we will hear wedding bells come next summer when she can fully and finally move on with her life. Let’s also hope that she goes full-on autobiography and spill everything re: Scientology.

Ummm Tom, you're kind of a third wheel. Kindly get out of the way.

Ummm Tom, you’re kind of a third wheel. Kindly get out of the way.

Things I’m Not Good at: TV Recaps

I feel awful that I totally let my RHONY recaps fall to the wayside. This week was part 2 of the reunion, so honestly, at this point, I’m not going to finish out the season. BUT I can give you my opinion on everyone!

Ramona

#turtletime

#turtletime

With her divorce firmly behind her, Ramona is all about herself. And that includes dating many a men. Including Tom, Luann’s fiancé. Always a hoot, Ramona wasn’t behind too much of the drama this year. She did try to stir the pot with the Tom stuff, but honestly, it was more Sonja who was the victim in the game of “Tom, the hot potato”. I’m hoping next season finds Ramona settling down with a nice man. Or not! I like her out on the town.

Carole

screen-shot-2016-09-09-at-3-15-54-pm

How bad was this reunion outfit? How bad is her cookbook with Adam going to be? I stopped hating Carole so much this year. I liked how she genuinely seemed happy for Luann, even though it took her like 8 episodes to accept a fricking apology. I wish she would stop acting like a 20-year old hipster…but baby steps!

Jules

jules

Sure, Jules totally needs a cheeseburger. And sure, she was a crazy roommate a decade ago who stole from my friend. But I feel bad for the way Bethenny treated her. Very judgmental and borderline racist. (Referring to the Jewish comments.) Plus her husband cheated on her then filed for divorce. But she’s getting $10K a month in spousal support…so…

Sonja

sonja

Sonja continues to be bat sh*t crazy. But I did feel sincerely sorry for her when Luann ripped Tom out from right under her (literally). It does seem like her fashion line might have a chance. I hope she finds what’s she looking for, and one day writes her toaster oven cookbook.

Dorinda

dorinda

Cheers Dorinda! She remains a favorite of mine, even though her boyfriend is a jerk. Honestly, I think she’s just very lonely. I would love for her to find someone more worthy of her awesomeness. Also, she had the best scene of the season up in the Berkshires. “If none of you can behave yourselves, you can all leave!” Does anyone know how I can get an invite to her house for Christmas?

Luann

luann

Dear Luann,

Tom is a jerk. He will cheat on you again. Is it really worth losing your countess title for a little male attention? Please advise.

Sincerely, Maura

Bethenny

bethenny

I have to be honest, B rubbed me the wrong way this season. She was hypercritical of everyone. I get that you’re very successful, but you’ve had your lows in life, so why would you kick others while they’re down? She went after Lu, Jules and Sonja particularly hard. She was on WWHL after part 2 of the reunion on Wednesday and had zero apologies. B – a little advice – a little humility goes a long way.

 

And there you go!! One more reunion episode and we are done with this season of New York!!!

Ok that was a super long post. I hope y’all enjoyed it! Happy weekend!

Tagged with:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *






Comment *