The 2017 Golden Globes Fashion – The Worst

Let’s wrap this up shall we? I realize that I don’t hit EVERYONE but I try to get most. If your favorite or least favorite look is missing from the bunch then I either a) didn’t deem it exciting enough to even mention or b) I totally forgot to include it. It’s a toss up! (I almost forgot Kristen Bell when doing the best!!) But please feel free to point out any that I may have missed.

Or maybe, your favorites landed on my worst dressed list. Peruse below and enjoy the hideousness!

Sofia Vergara in Zuhair Murad

worst-sofia-vergara

On the one hand, it’s not strapless and her hair is back! On the other, this is just hideous. It looks like they sprayed her with glue and rolled her sequins and what remains is what sticked. Also, her bit about “anal” was tacky. Like this dress!

Natalie Portman in Prada

worst-natalie-portman

I’ve already talked a lot about Natalie in the previous post, so I’ll just say this… I assume Natalie’s dress didn’t work at the last minute so they just pulled from her “Jackie” wardrobe closet?

Blake Lively in Versace

worst-blake

I will never sign off on sequin half-pockets.

Zoe Saldana in Gucci

worst-zoe-saldana

This is from the very twee Gucci line that has been circulating around (a little on the red carpet, A LOT on the cover of magazines). It’s ruffles and bows and pinks and she’s the merriest handmaiden of all!

Nicole Kidman in Alexander McQueen

worst-nicole-kidman

I hate this with a passion. I tried to redeem it but imagining it without the sleeves. But then you still have the ruffles on the bottom. And that weird cut out in the abdomen region. Great necklace though! And she was very cute with Reese on stage – they may actually be legit friends!

Michelle Williams in Louis Vuitton

worst-michelle-williams

Michelle suffers from the same issue as Jennifer Lawrence. She is a spokesperson for LV, so she is imprisoned to them for all eternity. And at some point, the designer makes a couple bad frocks, and they’re stuck. I wouldn’t hate this as much if she lopped off the sleeves. Obviously, the real killer here is the bow choker. Beyond unnecessary. Also, I read a blind recently that said she is HORRIBLE to work with and she’ll never win an award because no one likes her enough to vote for her and they’re surprised she even gets nominations. So, not a great start to 2017 for Michelle Williams.

Chrissy Teigen in Marchesa

worst-chrissy-teigen

I didn’t realize peplum was still a thing. Or clown collars, for that matter. Simply (or just all together remove) the extra fluff all around and you may have a great dress under there! (Great lipstick, though!)

Hailee Steinfeld in Vera Wang

worst-hailee-steinfeld

Is Vera Wang on something? (You’ll see more later…) This is horrible. She continues to use that awful design of awkwardly covering the boobs – remember this disaster?

And what is with these celebs and cold forearms that need covering (see Nicole above). Also, I hate this shade of purple. Sorry Hailee!

Connie Britton in Georges Chakra

worst-connie-britton

Connie Britton, you majestic hair goddess, what are you wearing? And where is the other sleeve to your dress? This color washes you out and the flowers are too twee and even your hair looks upset. Also, I’m not sure I feel the “Nashville” reboot on CMT…TBD on that.

Naomi Campbell in Versace

worst-naomi-campbell

Oh Naomi, you kook. I love you and your cell phone throwing ways. But this is a bit much for me. I wish you would have done a sequin column. You don’t need all this fussiness to shine!

Kristen Wiig in Reem Acra
worst-kristen-wiig

Jury is out on the haircut, but jury is in on this dress and no thank you. Like, I’m pretty sure my mom has that same table cloth on her dining room table right now and good to know even stars wear full body Spanx. They’re just like us! Mad props for giving us one of (maybe the only) funny bits last night with Steve Carrell.

I miss Tina and Amy.

Riley Keough in Chanel

worst-riley-keough

Cat loved this but to be fair we only saw it from the chest up but also to be fair, I get dizzy looking at the neckline because i feel like I’m seeing double. I’m just not a fan. Actually, Chanel hasn’t done it for me in years. I wonder if they need an infusion of new talent. (Do NOT tell Karl I said that, I fear that cat-loving man.)

Carrie Underwood in Iris Serban

worst-carrie-underwood

Oh my sweet Carrie Underwood. I love your break-up songs, but your fashion choices always boggle my mind. There is a large flower on your chest and I’m afraid of what is going to happen if it blooms any further.

Lily Collins in Zuhair Murad

worst-lily-collins

When George Michael died, my very funny friend Helen was DISTRAUGHT and said “Has anyone checked on Stevie Wonder??? What about Elton John??” And I responded “What about Phil Collins?” And the more I think about it – HAS anyone checked on him? I do know that his daughter is clearly physically find…mentally, I’m not sure. This is A LOT of dress. And A LOT of hair. What bothers me the most is the seam at her knees. I will say this – the color is gorgeous.

And now it is time for our worst dressed of the night. This was INSANE. It was a legit wedding dress. Wedding dress of my nightmares!!!!

Sarah Jessica Parker in Vera Wang

worst-sjpYep, Vera wasn’t done with us. What is this insanity? Besides looking cheaply made and ill-fitting, it’s all 80s gone bad. And again with the partial sleeve! SJP can get away with a lot, but not this. (Side note, I heard her new show is terrible and she shouldn’t have even gotten this nomination, but GGs love a big star!) We were even more annoyed about how she played dumb that her hair was clearly a nod to Carrie Fisher and said something along the lines of “I guess it was a subconscious tribute”. Just own it and be proud of it. But don’t be proud of that dress, because YIKES.

Well that wraps up my GG coverage. I’m going to try my hardest to get back in the blog writing groove. And look out for my next coverage on the 30th after the SAGs. Enjoy the rest of your Monday!

 

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