The 2017 Oscars – The Best of the Bunch

My very best dressed might get some pushback, but let’s first look at these gorgeous ladies and the frocks their stylist’s procured for them.

Emma Stone in Givenchy

emma stone

How does Givenchy make this and also make this?

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It’s mind blowing. I was mixed on this dress when I first saw it then I settled on liking it. She’s like the flapper version of an Oscar. It fits beautifully and her hair and make up are ON POINT. I wonder if after all is said and done, I would have switched this one out for the Globes’ Valentino. Either way, she’s adorable and I’m happy she won. When they announced her name she released an audible sigh of relief. Can you imagine sitting through 3+ hours of the show to wait to hear your name announced? Sure, she was the odds on favor, but guess what, so was “La La Land” for best picture. I feel badly that her win did get overshadowed by that but cheer up Emma, you have a fricking Oscar!

Alicia Vikander in Louis Vuitton

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Did we have similar hair styles last night? Maybe. Granted, I was lying on the couch drinking wine trying to digest the huge dinner we had (chili with chunks of beef  – it was sooo good). But from neck down – gorgeous. I love this dress, love the necklace. She is adorable. I wish she had worn this last year instead of that Bella inspired frock. She was sans Michael Fassbender and I’m PRETTY sure they broke up. She’s not the only winner from last year who upped their game.

Brie Larson in Oscar de la Renta

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Again with the bad hair, but just ignore it. Her dress is GORGEOUS. She looks like a real movie star here. I adore this dress and wish she had worn it last year when she won. Also, recall, she is a staunch advocate for women’s rights and victims of abuse. So this year has to have been painful – handing out award after award to Casey Affleck. She usually got away with handing it to him and stepping aside but last night Casey got up on stage and said “come here” then kind of forced her into a hug. Don’t make her hug you, Casey. Not cool.

Halle Berry in Versace

halle berry

Halle Berry is also noted as being coo coo for coco puffs. And I see it in her hair. But I did really like this dress. I think the design is gorgeous and unlike other Versaces, she’s not half naked. So here’s where I’m going to let you know that if Halle Berry is the best you can get to present Best Director, we have an issue. Sure she won an Oscar (15 years ago), but has she done much since? I honestly think a lot of the major actors/actresses prefer the Vanity Fair party. The show seems long enough from our cozy couches, could you imagine sitting through it in real time? Besides nominees, I was not impressed by the list of presenters. But great dress, Halle.

Busy Phillips in Elizabeth Kennedy

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You KNOW everytime Michelle has a killer role, Busy high fives herself and calls her stylist “we’re going to the Oscars!”. At this point, she probably wants Michelle to stay single forever. I think she looks great. This dress is different and sexy but still glamorous. Her blue ribbon is a call out for the ACLU – aka the group that is basically like, we’re all humans, let’s all have rights. So pretty much the most relevant group we should be supporting right now. Kris Jenner, on the E! preshow, was like “what’s up with these blue things” and even Giuliana was like “oh boy Kris, do your homework”. Love the dress. Love her. If you don’t already, follow her on Instagram – if only for the fact she’s super into baking and makes epic cakes.

Octavia Spencer in Marchesa

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Spoiler alert – “Hidden Figures” went for the fashion win. All the ladies show up in this post. I loved this look – I thought it was glamorous and completely opposite to her usual look. Typically, Tadashi Shoji dresses her because he and Christian Siriano are the only ones who know how to design above a size 2. So it was nice to see Marchesa customize something for her. If you are nominated for an Oscar, you go full on drama. Take note Viola, your “Help” costar upstaged you on this one.

Nicole Kidman in Armani

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I was really hoping for Nicole to bring it last night. She brought something, but I’m not sure it was IT. But let’s not deny that this is gorgeous. The color washes her out slightly but it also helps your focus on the gorgeous design. And hello red lip – gorgeous. And there’s a nod to the Indian style which of course, if you’ve seen her movie, you know it centers around a little boy from India who gets lost and ends up adopted by an Australian couple. Have you all seen “Lion” yet? I cried from start to finish. Like hysterical crying. It is so good. And Nicole was amazing in it. Do you think Tom Cruise sits at home thinking “crap, did I screw up? Should I have stayed with Nicole? Because I’m about to star in the remake of “The Mummy” and she’s still getting nominated for Oscars…” Umm yes Tom, you crazy Scientologist. You did screw up.

Charlize Theron in Dior

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Come for the dress, stay for the over 50 carats of Chopard diamonds dripping from her ears. MY GOD those earrings were amazing. Here’s my ONE nitpick. Did the neckline look better on the runway?

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Listen – it’s definitely boobs.com, but I almost feel like they overcompensated on Charlize and made her looks broader across the chest than she definitely is. I did love her little inspiration piece with Shirley MacLaine. And this is where I tell you I loved all of those bits – Seth Rogan and Michael J. Fox. Amazing. And I never tire of the Jimmy vs. Damon feud. I think it’s hilarious and it may have seemed obvious to play it out all night, but Jimmy having the orchestra play him off as his presented was not only very funny, but also added humor to a show that we were over 3 hours into. Thank you, Jimmy. Great dress, Charlize.

Chrissy Teigen in Zuhair Murad

chrissy teigen

I must be coming out of my funk because i initially hated this. The more I look at it, the more I love it. The design is gorgeous. Do we always need to wear a cape, guys? No, but this works. I would have maybe gone up a size. It looks tight across the waist. And she has killer earrings on. Oh you didn’t know? Maybe because she has two hunks of hair hanging down on her face. This dress is doing all the work, a simple, pulled back hair style would have made such a difference for me. Also, the pic from the Meh’s post was her sleeping through Casey Affleck’s speech although I wouldn’t put her past it to fake it because we all wish we could have skipped over that win. (I really do not like Casey Affleck, you guys.) Anyway, it sounds like I don’t like this dress, but I actually do. I just hate her hair. And Casey Affleck.

Laura Dern in Rodarte

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I LOVE this. This is very cool. SHE is very cool. Are we all watching “Big Little Lies”? Did we all read the book? Good. The book was awesome and episode 1 of the series was soooo good. Can’t wait to watch episode 2 tonight. Also, you know what’s really picking up? “Homeland”. They are having a very nice season. But back to Laura. Great dress. Stunning.

Kirsten Dunst in Dior

kirsten dunst

I need a macro for Dior and Armani – I feel like they ruled the red carpet. I vacillated on this at first, but the more I look at it, the more I love it. This is old Hollywood drama. And I love the necklace and shoes. Perfectly styled. Why didn’t “Hidden Figures” win anything? That movie was so flipping good. In a year where everything was super depressing, it was the bright spot in the nominees. Have we talked yet about how “Manchester by the Sea” was THE worst movie and so sad and I hated it. It was so sad, I couldn’t even cry. In other news, where can I get those shoes?

Isabelle Huppert in Armani

isabelle huppert

I thought she looked gorgeous in this and I think it was very funny when Jimmy called out the fact that most voters probably didn’t see her movie. Stay cool, Isabelle.

Taraji P. Henson in Alberta Feretti

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This is perfection. She looks amazing. The necklace is PERFECT with the dress. She was so good in “Hidden Figures”. Is “Empire” still a thing? I loved how into the parachutes of food she was. Octavia caught one at one point and you could see her saying “ARE YOU SHARING?” I learned how to lip read at Kate and Will’s wedding. Which, by the way, I haven’t seen an Alberta Feretti dress in a minute. Remember when Chelsy Davy wore that hideous look the royal wedding? Is this where we talk about how we all want Prince Harry to marry Megan Markle? No? Maybe?

Auli’i Craralho in Rubin Singer

Aulii Cravahlho

Blah blah, gorgeous dress, gorgeous girl, gorgeous voice. But let’s talk about this:

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Girlfriend got smacked in the face and didn’t miss a beat. THAT is professionalism. Take note, Warren.

Sara Bareilles in Romona Keveza

sara bareilles

This dress is pretty. You know what else is pretty? Her voice. Why is she not more famous? Why do people like Katy Perry get the limelight all the time and not Sara? I cried through the In Memoriam because, yes we lost a lot of people, but also if you don’t recall “Both Sides Now” from “Love Actually” and how it’s such a devastating song, go rewatch that movie immediately.

And now, for our best dressed of the night. And by our, I mean mine, because none of you may agree. But as I said, it’s the OSCARS. GO BIG OR GO HOME. And this was major for me:

Janelle Monae in Elie Saab

janelle monae

This was beyond. How cool is this dress? How cool is she? I love when she talks. She has such a confidence to her and she’s so well spoken. It’s very tranquil. Back to the dress – I think it’s very well designed and she styled it perfectly. Her schtick is black and white and she never fails to surprise you and still stick to her aesthetic. Gorgeous.

PS – told you “Hidden Figures” killed it.

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Actually, there’s a lot on the best dressed list so maybe I’m not so cranky!!! Stay tuned for the worst – it gets bad! And come back later for the after parties!!!

 

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