The 2017 Oscars – The Meh’s of The Group

You guys. What even happened last night? That was ridiculous, right? Someone at Pricewaterhouse Coopers is currently getting fired. In case you missed it – Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway presented the Best Movie. Warren looked hella confused as he read the winner’s name. He even looked in the envelope to see if there was a second piece of paper. He then called over a stage manager, they got him the right envelope and “Moonlight” was announced the winner.

I’m kidding. He played it like a jackass and handed it to Faye to figure it out. She announced “La La Land”, everyone rushed the stage and we sat through about a minute of speeches before one of the “La La Land” producers came up and said they didn’t win, “Moonlight” did. The original envelope said Emma Stone for “La La Land”. It was NOT the same envelope as before – Emma herself said she hung on to the envelope after her win. PWC just effed up and had duplicate envelopes. Then they waited for an extremely long time to tell someone. It was awkward and kind of sad. Congratulations to “Moonlight” and congratulations to the group from “La La Land” who stepped aside with a lot of grace.

You can watch the whole carnage here:

Otherwise, the show was pretty good. It was about 35 minutes longer than expected. WHY does it start at 8:30? That is just rude. I personally thought Jimmy Kimmel was hilarious. I think he did a good blend of jokes making fun of stars and Trump. I loved the tour bus bit – I thought that was hilarious. I was super bummed that Casey Affleck won because of his history of sexual harassment, but when it comes to those things – Hollywood turns a blind eye. The speeches weren’t that memorable and honestly, the biggest moment of the show was the screw up.

But we’re all really here for the fashion, right? So let’s dig in. I will work on the Oscars themselves and see if I can get the after parties up as well. My overall thoughts on the fashion was one big “Meh”. A couple standouts and some were bumped up to Best Dressed by default. Let’s see if you agree!

Priyanka Chopra in Ralph and Russo

priyankaI guess because it’s on ABC, they invite a bunch of network stars? She didn’t even present. I would almost rather be at the Vanity Fair party than just sitting in an uncomfortable auditorium watching the show. But that’s just me. This dress is fine. The pattern is a little bathroom tile for my taste and I hate the neckline. She looks pretty but also like she kind of knows it’s very random that she’s there. Does anyone even watch “Quantico” anymore? That’s the name of the show, right?

Viola Davis in Armani

viola

If you are odds on the favorite to win an Oscar, wouldn’t you pull out all the stops? I’d go to every designer and be like – give me your best stuff. Unfortunately, a lot of people defaulted to Armani and Dior. And while they make beautiful dresses, perhaps the risk taking isn’t quite there? This is forgettable for me. I hate the neckline. I actually hate that whole cold shoulder look. I think it looks trendy in a bad way. The color is undeniably beautiful, but where’s the drama?? And I did not like her hair like that. I barely paid attention to her speech because the hair kept falling into her eyes and I was getting high anxiety that she wasn’t brushing it out of the way. A usual winner on the red carpet, this fell flat.

Kate McKinnon in Narcisco Rodriguez

kate mckinnon

I was going to say there was a missed opportunity to have her come on as Hillary but then I remembered that’s SNL, this is ABC, ipso facto- couldn’t be done. I liked this dress, it was very pretty. But part of it’s appeal is the top half and she covered half of it up with her beachcomber waves. What a difference a gorgeous chignon could have made. Add some statement earrings, and you are there. Kate is funny and can deliver a punchline like no other but I thought her bit with Jason Bateman was lame. See you on SNL when Octavia hosts this Saturday!!

Michelle Williams in Louis Vuitton

michelle williams

If I were a manager/stylist for a major star, I would 100% advise them against becoming a spokesperson for a line. SURE, you get paid a ton of money, but you’re also a slave to them for every single dress. And sometimes, they run out of good things to put you in. I thought this dress was dumb. The top half looks like it’s meant for an entirely different dress. I’ve heard rumors that she’s very difficult to work with and people are surprised she’s even nominated for stuff, and she’ll never actually win. Which is disappointing to hear. But this dress is disappointing too, so maybe Michelle knows what’s what.

Amy Adams in Tom Ford

amy adams

Amy did not walk the red carpet before presenting, presumably because she is OVER IT. She’s been nominated a million times and never won. And she should have been nominated for “Arrival” but the Academy feels like anytime Meryl comes on film, she needs a nomination. Don’t get me wrong – I love Meryl – but was Florence Jenkins Foster REALLY deserving of a nomination over Amy’s awesome turn in “Arrival”?? I actually love this dress – she is slave to Tom Ford because of “Nocturnal Animals” (a movie I thought was really dumb) and he usually does right by her but why do I feel like I have to look away quickly because her boobs are in my face? I texted Julia when she came on stage “Amy Adams got a boob job, right?” Maybe she just got them and wanted them on display. It’s not my favorite look – I think it distracts from everything else i.e. the beautiful dress, the enviable hair and oh, the fact that she’s a legit actor. Heads up – I’m tired and cranky (CAN WE PLEASE START THIS EVENT EARLIER??? Even the Super Bowl starts at like 6:30.)

Meryl Streep in Elie Saab

meryl streep

She also did not walk the red carpet presumably because she is a) Meryl Streep and b) she was not down to answer questions about her drama. Long story short – Karl Lagerfeld said he was designing something for her via Chanel (he fronts several lines) and Meryl’s people called and said, thanks but no thanks, another designer is giving us cash money for Meryl to wear their dress. Meryl went OFF in a statement that it was simply not true. Listen, any friend of the Kardashians, is no friend of mine, but I don’t see the point in completely making that up. I think the truth lies somewhere in the middle. I think Karl caught wind that Elie Saab was going to pay Meryl (it happens ALL the time in Hollywood) and he sold her out. I don’t think anyone was dumb enough to call Karl and tell him that. And that’s where Meryl is standing firm on it being a lie. I’d like to see the Chanel and compare it to this. Hard to tell but that’s actually pants. Which is why I put it in the Meh column. I’m not here for dresses over pants. I’m just not. I’m also maybe over the adulation of Meryl. Yes she’s arguably the best actress of the generation, but do we need to always talk about it? Or throw her nomination based on a body of work vs. a singular role? I’m sure I’ll get some push back on that, but even Taylor Swift knows when it’s time to pack it in and hide in Nashville for a few months. Told you I was cranky… PS – interesting that no one wore Chanel last night – do we think last minute changes were made to avoid upsetting Meryl??

So that’s it for the Mehs. A lot of the best looks could have been Mehs but I guess I’m being a little generous.

 

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