The Oscar After Parties: The Mehs

You guys. I went through the slide show of the afterparties and it’s legit a crazy fest. Also, I want to shake some of these women for wearing an amazing dress to the Vanity Fair party and a crap dress to the show. Ruth Negga, you got your outfits backwards!!! Also, I omitted some of the attendees such as models I don’t care about (Alessandra Ambrosia), actresses I don’t care about (Ashley Tisdale) and reality stars I don’t care about (Caitlyn Jenner). On to the (after) party!

Katy Perry in Jean Paul Gaultier

katy perry

DO NOT BE FOOLED. That is a blonde wig. It is not her real hair. She’s been off her rocker lately. She’s had some really awkward interviews (including one where she dissed Britney Spears and I LOST MY SH*T). I thought maybe it was because she was no longer with Orlando, but alas she still is. I think she’s frustrated because she’s maybe not as relevant as she was. I haven’t heard people freaking out about her new song. And she kind of yelled at Ed Sheeran for bumping her from #1 on the radio. It’s all weird. And so is this dress. But I’m not burning her at the stake for it. Carry on.

Janelle Monae in Alexandre Vauthier

janelle monae

From best to meh. This does not fit up top. And I wish she had totally switched up the silhouette. It’s a cool dress in theory but I might have issues with the belt. What I don’t have issue with is her acting abilities. She was in both “Hidden Figures” and “Moonlight”. Carry on, Janelle.

Reese Witherspoon in Michael Kors

reese

Reese just got back from filming in New Zealand so she’s probably jet lagged and picked up the first dress she saw. BUT, her costar (coming up in best dressed) ALSO just got back and killed it, so maybe we don’t give her a hard pass on this. It’s cute and I would totally wear it to a fun event, but maybe not to the Vanity Fair Oscar party. How many times a year do you get the chance to go all out?

Lily Collins in Elie Saab

lily collins

The deep V works on her and I love the belt. I even like the skirt EXCEPT where it decides to not be lined. WHY MUST EVERYTHING BE SEE THROUGH?

Emma Stone in Givenchy

emma stone

“You’ve just won an Oscar, what are you going to do????” Apparently put on a slip and a semi-cool blazer and throw your hair back. This is snoozy on the biggest night of her career.

Elizabeth Banks in Elie Saab

elizabeth banks

Banks is ALWAYS interesting on the red carpet. You know what’s not interesting? THE SHEER SKIRT.

Rosie Huntington-Whitely in Versace

rosie huntington

Rosie is pregnant with Jason Statham’s child. She looks fantastic but I don’t love the material of this dress. It’s a cool design and her bump looks good, but I’m having issue with satin and satin-adjacent materials today.

Lea Michele in Elie Saab

lea michele

I might like this dress on someone else. Lea is always a little off-putting to me. The skirt is gorgeous. Maybe I wish the top was completely lined? And that she wasn’t spray tanned within an inch of her life?

Leslie Mann in Carolina Herrera

leslie mann

LISTEN, it’s a huge improvement from the show but that color is doing her no favors. The dress itself is gorgeous but needs to be on someone else, or at least on someone with a Lea Michele level tan.

Ok so nothing crazy here. Nothing to write home about either. I can’t wait to get to the worst dressed because it’s INSANE.

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