The 2018 Met Gala: The Meh’s

Sorry for the dry spell but I was busy doing things like getting married and moving and blah, blah, blah – let’s just get on with it. If there was anything that was going to get me back to the blog, it was going to be the Met Gala and watching reality stars and Instagram models try to decipher the theme (Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination) without royally offending someone. What we got were A LOT of headpieces and crosses, some snoozes, some delights and a bunch of junk. But let’s get the snoozes/junk out of the way, shall we!

Who knows the science behind how I rank the fashion – all I know is that a lot of people put very little effort into the theme and that really grinds my gears. This is the one night you can take all the risks with a ton of reward. PS editor’s note: A LOT of people went to this thing and I couldn’t judge every look so don’t @ me if you don’t see one of the millions of models in our world today represented.

Gigi Hadid in Versace

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A LOT of people wore Versace to this event, most likely because Donatella was a co-host, and some were good, some were bad and some were like this – uninspired. It’s a beautiful dress and obviously she is a bombshell, but I can’t connect it to the theme, any theme actually. Do we think Yolanda sits at home and pats herself on the back for creating these model children? And not just literally creating them – but basically putting them through model bootcamp? Remember when Gigi couldn’t have cake at her own graduation party? I think about that often…

UPDATE – per her Instagram, it’s meant to be stained glassed windows.If you have to spell it out to us in a day after post, it’s a miss.

Naomi Watts in Michael Kors

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Here’s the thing – not every designer is meant to design avant garde gowns for this event. Michael Kors is one of them, and oh just you wait to see what patriotic lover, Tommy Hilfiger, did to his stars. These is beautiful and I GUESS the cape feature has a little papal feel to it, but Naomi can and has gone bigger than this. Rumor has it that she’s dating Billy Crudup, who left his pregnant girlfriend Mary Louise Parker for a young Claire Danes who left him for Hugh Dancy which makes me wonder if Claire and Naomi chatted at this event. Who would have thought Billy Crudup would be the original Tristan Thompson??

Karlie Kloss in Brandon Maxwell

 

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“Yes I’m dating Jared Kushner’s brother, no I do not want to talk about it so I’m giving you the most boring dress I can muster so people will focus on Jared Leto behind me instead”

Hailey Baldwin

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I find her to be the worst of the Insta models that I didn’t even bother searching out a dress cred on this. How did we let her happen? Her dad’s not even one of the good Baldwin’s! Also this look is snoozy and I don’t like the fact that my beloved Shawn Mendes is dating her.

Lily Aldridge in Ralph Lauren

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Is she still friends with T Swift? Is she still married to that Kings of Leon guy? Is Kings of Leon still a thing? PS I love this dress, just find it so OFF theme that I couldn’t get on board.

Yara Shaidi in Chanel

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Guys, what happened to Chanel? I am rarely inspired by them anymore. What’s Karl’s problem (besides going on record as being AGAINST the #metoo movement)? Her immense ability to carry off any outfit is the only reason this didn’t get shuffled into the “worst” deck.

Tessa Thompson in Thom Browne

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Beautiful but off theme but let’s talk about what is really important here- how insane Westworld is these days. Are you guys watching? I have to read recaps to figure out what the hell happened but I’m still obsessed. And Tessa is deliciously evil in it. Also, I’d like that oversized blazer for my fall LEWK thank you very much.

Mary J. Blige in Versace 

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Another great look but I’m having a hard time connecting it to the theme! Do I, a Catholic, not know how to correctly fashion my own religion???

Emily Ratahsdfjajajksdfkjasf in Marc Jacobs

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Tight, revealing skin, dead eye – she’s at least on theme for her typical look!

Winnie Harlow in Tommy Hilfiger

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See what I mean about Tommy?? This is meant for Halloween when Winnie goes as Hilary Duff’s character in A Cinderella Story.

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Michelle Williams in Louis Vuitton

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Michelle is one of those actors who sold her soul to a fashion house and is now chained to them forever (see also Jennifer Connelly and Emma Stone for LV, Selena Gomez for Coach, etc. etc.) I like it, I might even get the chain mail part of it but overall, not an effective look for me. I’d watch the movie where someone goes on a quest to free her from her LV contract and win her heart in the process. Who is single and worthy of Michelle?

Laura Dern in Proenza Schouler

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Ugh I love me some Laura Dern but this outfit is just leaving me in the Mehs. And bless the stylist who while Laura was leaving the hotel yelled “CRAP” and grabbed the first piece of jewelry that MIGHT connect with the theme and threw it around her neck.

Jennifer Connelly in Louis Vuitton

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Jennifer made a deal with Balenciaga and they traded her to LV years ago. This is getting closer to the theme (LV actually did right by one of their girls – you’ll see soon enough).

Greta Gerwig in The Row

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Listen, I respect her as a director and I respect her for going for a look inspired by the opening nun scene in The Sound of Music. But this might be a little TOO on the nose?

Emma Stone in Louis Vuitton

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Emma looks like the captain of a SUPER fun cruise ship. I’d definitely go on that trip even though cruise ships freak me out.

Sarah Paulson in Prada

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Ok let’s unpack some stuff here (the dress is fine whatever). Sarah stars in Ocean’s 8 – a movie coming out in June that’s Ocean’s 11 but with badass females. John Hill (former ex-boyfriend of Andy Cohen, current host of The Feels on Radio Andy) saw it and said it is PERFECT. SO anyway, the movie revolves around a heist planned at the Met Gala. Anna Wintour signed off on it. Apparently there was supposed to be some sort of Ocean’s 8 thing on the red carpet, which, PR win. BUT, I never saw the stars who were there (Sarah, Mindy Kaling, Anne Hathaway and Rihanna) remotely together at the event and the BIG stars (Sandy Bullock and Cate Blanchett) weren’t there. Cate is heading the jury at Cannes, so free pass. But where was Sandy? Where was the PR magic? SOMEONE TELL ME.

Gabrielle Union in Prabal Gurung

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Prabal sent his girls in a party bus to the event, so that’s one in the W column. This dress is very pretty and I would love it at the Oscars where the theme is always “Very Pretty: Dresses”.

Anne Hathaway in Valentino

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This is VERY similar to Bee Shafer’s dress. It’s pretty but I find the whole, grab a good dress and add a headpiece LAZY.

Ruby Rose in Tommy Hilfiger

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SERIOUSLY, who thought “hmmm, Catholicism, Fashion, Tommy Hilfiger”??? At least she stole some garb from her local Catholic Church to attempt the theme on her way over to the Met.

Sienna Miller in Louis Vuitton

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KUDOS to Sienna Miller who had (in my opinion) one memorable turn in Factory Girl and has sustained fame and fortune since then doing God knows what.

Rooney Mara in Givenchy

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Sometimes, I look deep into Rooney’s eyes and think she’s trying to tell us something like “save me from Joaquin Phoenix” or “please burn Givenchy to the ground so my contract dies with them”. Coin toss on either situation here.

Dakota Fanning in Miu Miu

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RESCIND HER INVITE IF SHE’S NOT EVEN GOING TO TRY, ANNA.

Amber Heard in Carolina Herrera

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I don’t know – I don’t hate it. But I don’t love it. HOWEVER I want to know everything about Johnny Depp AND Elon Musk (who was ALSO there with his new girlfriend Grimes. I don’t know what a Grimes is so I did not include them in this post).

Hailee Steinfeld in Prabal Gurung

 

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Pretty dress + headdress = 😴

Kate Upton in Zac Posen

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I actually hate this dress but it is mildly on theme, so here we are? Also, where is Zac Posen devotee, Katie Holmes??

Ashley Graham 

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Didn’t get a credit on this. I feel like Ashley is such a beacon of hope to a world where we accept more than just a triple 0 model and I also feel like she’s doing that role a disservice by not taking the opportunity and running with it into FULL CATHOLIC INSANITY.

Kerry Washington in Ralph Lauren

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I don’t know about this but I do know I am SO happy Scandal is over. It jumped the shark so long ago but Julia and I have a very hard time quitting shows so we just stuck with it and literally counted down the episodes until it wrapped up so we could wash our hands of it forever! (This technique can also be beneficial – Grey’s Anatomy was able to pull it back together and are better for it)

Amanda Seyfried in Prada

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Who stole Amanda’s invite and replaced it with one that said Heavenly Bodies: Grecian Goddesses? My money is on Lindsay Lohan.

Rita Ora in Prada

 

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I demand an explanation for how this is Catholic related from Miuccia herself. Also, has anyone actually ever heard a Rita Ora song?

Princess Beatrice in Alberta Ferretti

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Ok someone at People Magazine made a connection from Beatrice’s appearance in regal purple to Diana’s appearance 20+ years ago and, I’m not here for that. But Beatrice intrigues me. She recently was in Jordan with Karlie Kloss and Ellie Goulding and some others. She broke up with her boyfriend who promptly went and got engaged to someone else. All of her same-aged cousins/her sister are engaged or getting married. Not to mention, the Queen had to take Prince Andrew to task because Beatrice and Eugenie were living that royal lifestyle a little too hard so they ended up getting their security taken away. AND she just fell to 8th place in line to the throne with the birth of little Louis. A lot going on – she seems like someone who needs a GET A GRIP talking to. I’ll see if I can grab her attention when I’m in Windsor for the royal wedding next week.

Olivia Munn in H&M

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A lot of chainmail at this event… which is very Crusaders’ adjacent and I’m ok with that but the execution is not all there for me on this one. Probably because H&M, while their intent with their social conscience line is good, high end fashion is not a core competency for them. Kind of like Tommy Hilfiger.

Anna Wintour in Duh, Chanel

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For someone who basically makes all the fashion decisions for us, Anna doesn’t typically inspire me.

Bee Shafer in Valentino

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Ah look, it’s the first cousin of Anne Hathaway’s dress. Instead of a headpiece, she slapped a cross on her bag. She IS getting married soon and I am looking forward to THAT dress. Maybe she’s saving all her fashion energy for it.

Tiffany Haddish in Brandon Maxwell

 

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Maxwell really sh*t the bed with this theme, right? Tiffany deserves SO much more than this, especially in her coming out year in Hollywood. She should have just reworn that Alexander McQueen dress again…

Irina Shayk in Versace

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I have so many thoughts on Bradley Cooper’s love life. He was once married to Jennifer Esposito, then dated Jordana Brewster’s sister, then threw us for a loop and spent two years with Renee Zellweger, rebounded to Zoe Saldana, spent years with young model, Suki Waterhouse, and is now the lover/baby daddy of Irina. I feel like, maybe we should spend less time harping on Taylor Swift’s dating history and do a deep dive into Bradley Cooper. PS this dress is fine.

What do you think, did I nail it in my grand return to blogging? Stay tuned for the best and worst!

 

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2 Comments on The 2018 Met Gala: The Meh’s

  1. CatZzzzzz
    May 8, 2018 at 6:09 pm (7 months ago)

    Nailed 100!!!!

    Reply
  2. joan barrett
    May 9, 2018 at 9:50 am (7 months ago)

    Thank Heavens you are back- I was worried that being a married lady would keep you from your true calling! You are always spot on

    Reply

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